Acceptance Vs. Judging—Finding Balance Between the Two

Acceptance Vs. Judging

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:7

The command here is to accept others the way Christ Jesus accepted us. Jesus accepted people unconditionally and indiscriminately. It didn’t matter their gender, race, status, or political position.

Jesus was a human relational magnet.

Why did everyone want to be around Jesus? He didn’t condemn them. He didn’t shun sinners. In fact, He warmly welcomed sinners, letting them know that they mattered and yet telling them truthfully, “Your sin is not acceptable.”

The meaning of the word “to accept,” literally means “to receive and grant one access to one’s heart. To take and receive into one’s home (oikos).” If we want to learn how to accept people, we need to study the life of Jesus and seek to accept like He did. Now, did He approve of it all? No. But …

Jesus always accepted people.

He admitted them, warmly, into relationship with Him and then He spoke the truth in love. That’s what we are to do. Now, accepting a person does not mean we accept, tolerate or condone their sinful behavior. That is not what Christ did. He loved them and so must we. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

How do we balance accepting the person and not the sin? Isn’t that judging?

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.” Matthew 7:1

Have you noticed that most people are familiar with this scripture (Christian or not) and quote it if they feel they are being judged? Many people conclude that making judgments on anyone—especially coming from Christians—is wrong based upon the “judge not” verse.

Does the Bible tell Christians not to judge?

We must read further in the text from Matthew to find out.

“For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First, get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Matthew 7:2-5

These verses do not mean we should never make judgments.

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Jesus is cautioning us not to make judgments in a hypocritical way.

The Bible’s command that we not judge others does not mean we cannot show discernment or use common sense. When Jesus says, “The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged,” He is basically cautioning us to “judge at our own risk.”

Immediately after Jesus says, “Do not judge,” He says, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs” (Matthew 7:6). A little later in the same sermon, He says, “Watch out for false prophets … By their fruit, you will recognize them” (verses 15–16). How are we to discern who are the “dogs” and “pigs” and “false prophets” unless we make a judgment?

Jesus is giving us permission to judge right from wrong.

Here’s the thing. When one judges they also form an opinion. The trouble is, opinions can be influenced by many things such as our fears, pride, or ignorance. If all we had were human opinions, we might agree with those who say we should never judge. But as Christians, we are not to judge based on our opinion, but the moral teachings of Scripture and through Spirit-informed prayer and discernment. Any lazy or biased fool can have opinions.

Making biblical judgments is the hard work of responsible and compassionate people.

Elsewhere, Jesus gives a direct command to judge: “Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.” John 7:24

Jesus tells us there are correct and incorrect ways to make judgments.

Ways the Bible says we should NOT judge

Superficial judgment: Passing judgment based solely on appearances is sinful. A fool jumps to conclusions before investigating the facts. (John 7:24, Proverbs 18:3)
Hypocritical judgment: when we point out the sin of others while we ourselves commit the same sin, we condemn ourselves. Jesus warns about hypocritical judging. (Matthew 7:1; 3-5, Romans 2:1)
Harsh, unforgiving judgment: we are to be gentle and merciful (Titus 3:2, Matthew 5:7) Jesus warned, “In the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Matthew 7:20).
Self-righteous judgment: we are called to humility and God opposes the proud. (James 4:6, Luke 18:9-14)
Untrue judgment: the Bible forbids false witness (Proverbs 19:5, Exodus 20:16).
Judgment with human limitations: we are called to seek God’s word and authority. Only God’s judgments are flawless (John 8:15-16, Psalm 7:11, Isaiah 33:2)

Ways the Bible says we SHOULD judge

Biblical judgment meme quote

Let’s talk about biblical judging as it relates to the believer and the unbeliever. The methods are different when dealing with the two groups, but the goal is always the same: REPENTANCE AND RECONCILIATION.

Unbelievers need to know Christ and be reconciled to Him. Believers need to grow in Christ and be reconciled to each other in unity and love.

 Judgment in relation to unbelievers

The Bible clearly declares that all people are sinners, have fallen short of the glory of God, and need redemption from their sins (Romans 3:23). This is a judgment made by God. When a Christian gently, lovingly, and humbly presents the gospel to unbelievers, a judgment is made regarding their standing with God. This judgment is not made by the opinion of the one sharing, but rather by what the Bible clearly states.

To think that the unbeliever is somehow immune from criticism or being held accountable for his actions would mean that we never share that another person needs salvation. If we are not able to declare immoral acts sinful, then evangelism, as Jesus designed it in Matthew 28:19, is worthless and Christianity is diluted to a feel-good group rather than the truth of the ages.

Judgment in relation to believers

Scripture provides many examples of how God’s people can be in error and sin, dating back to (and before) the kings of Israel and Judah. As believers, we are not to ignore sin.  If a believer sees another believer sinning, he is instructed to confront the person in a respectful and loving way.

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18: 15-17

God commands believers to point out the truth with Christ-like compassion, bringing repentance and restoration to the sinner (James 5:20). “Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” (2 Timothy 4:2)

Why get involved?

Depending on our personalities, we are either prone to confront or shy away from confrontation. No matter what our tendencies are, we must follow God’s Word. True love cares if someone is caught in the trap of sin. We can literally save a life or a marriage, or a world of pain (James 5:19-20). Here are the reasons God calls us to be involved:

  • It follows the example of Jesus (Matthew 7:1-5; 15-16, Matthew 18:15-17).
  • Godly love demands it (1 Corinthians 13:6).
  • It produces growth in people’s lives (Ephesians 4:15).
  • Because of what is at stake in the lives of people we care about (James 5:19-20).

Before getting involved 

  • PRAY
  • Check your motivation
  • Check your heart and your own life
  • Ask the following questions: Do you love and accept this person as Christ demonstrated? Is the issue unbiblical? Unwise? Or possibly unimportant?

I’d like to share a few words of caution. If you are fired up to confront someone with an issue you see as sin, STOP. I mean it. Stop and take some time alone with the Lord. Judgment is a serious issue and must be done with godly discernment, wisdom, and most of all LOVE. “The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.”

Remember the ultimate goal of confronting the person is to bring repentance, not condemnation.

In these ways, we demonstrate a godly balance of acceptance versus judgment of sin.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and prayer requests in the comments below.

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Acceptance Vs. Judging

17 thoughts on “Acceptance Vs. Judging—Finding Balance Between the Two”

  1. What a wonderful reminder Ms. Beckie. As I was reading, Romans 3:10 came instantly to mind (NKJV) “As it is written: ‘There is none righteous, no, not one;'” I’m as guilty as anyone at allowing my human nature to judge others. What this verse reminds me, when I start to do this, is that I cannot judge righteously (as God can and will) for I am not yet righteous. Because I am yet human, my inbred sin nature continues to battle with Christ’s new spiritual nature placed within. Like Christ, we are to love and accept. As you point out, that doesn’t mean we condone or accept their sin, but we accept the sinner. For we all are, accept that or not. 🙂 God’s blessings ma’am; and thank you for this reminder to be who God created us to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post Beckie. I think sometimes we don’t accept others because we revert back to grade school thinking and believe their “cooties” will hop on us if we get close to them. Or we think we will be judged by the company we keep. Well, actually, we are. But so was Jesus, and he kept company with the outcasts anyway.
    I especially loved the clarity and wisdom in your explanation about judging and speaking truth to others. It’s not an easy thing.
    The Lord bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dottie, great points! I’m with you. It is not an easy thing to speak the truth to others even when we are doing it with God’s wisdom and love. It is so important to check our motivation and our own lives. Thanks for sharing.
      Blessings 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for sharing this insightful and helpful post, backed with scripture. These are great pointers to remember. I especially liked this part: “But as Christians, we are not to judge based on our opinion, but the moral teachings of Scripture and through Spirit-informed prayer and discernment.” I find that my opinion often plays a part, so I tend to scold myself for any amount of judging, but I’m glad you pointed out that we are to be aware of the SIN, and be led to treat others like Jesus did, always!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Julie, I, too, tend to scold myself for any amount of judging. I think because I grew up with a lot of criticism which I in turn, inflicted on myself and others. When I became a Christian, I realized this was a huge problem and sort of went the opposite direction. I’m constantly working on balance with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the Word.
      Thanks for taking time to share.
      Blessings! ❤


  4. How we need to be so, so cautious and careful before we pass judgment, Beckie, praying first and really doing some sincere and deep reflection upon our own sins. I think when we strive to follow Jesus and His teachings, we make discerning and loving judgments of others, treating them as we’d like to be treated.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. An excellent post, Beckie. There are a few people who might say that my husband and I judge, because we’ve found it necessary to distance ourselves from “toxic” situations. People who are repeatedly involved in theft, drugs, bad relationships, intense partying. Sometimes you need to protect yourself from the consequences and “ripple effects” of those people’s lifestyles. 1 Corinthians 5:11 .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robin, great insight. Thank you for the scripture reference. It certainly isn’t easy to speak God’s truths at times, but if we truly love and want to help, we must pray for the Lord to guide us on our approach. And yes, there are those we must set godly boundaries with—which may involve distance.
      Blessings on you and yours!


  6. Hey, Beckie. Sorry for the delayed comment. Our church was serving over the last week with a homeless ministry and we had a relative in the hospital. But I made a note to come back to this because it’s so good and a needed message. All the points you make about when and how we are to judge and “not” judge are wise and in line with Scripture.

    “Balance” is key here. Jesus modeled this balance for us in how He accepted people but also spoke the truth in love…judging right from wrong. When we look at the life and ministry of Jesus, not one time did He compromise truth in order to love people. Not one time! That’s why I love this line: “True love cares if someone is caught in the trap of sin.” Amen!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen, I so appreciate your response. Coming from a solid woman of faith and pastor’s wife, I’m thrilled to know you found those post beneficial and on point.
      I hope and pray all is well with the relative that was in the hospital. You’ve had a busy time of it.
      Thank you again for taking the time to share. You are a blessing to me, my friend!
      Praying God’s blessings on you and yours!


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