Stop Lying To Yourself

Humans are masters of deception. We don’t like to admit it, but it’s in our nature to cover things up.

The first sin in human history started with a lie when Adam and Eve tried to cover the result of that sin.

We lie to avoid punishment and embarrassment.

We lie to gain advantage and self-esteem.

We lie to keep doing what we want.

Lying begins at a young age when children learn how to avoid punishment. Often when a child is punished for lying, rather than doing it less, they learn to get better at it.

Winston Churchill once stated, “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”

A fundamental question we will face in this life is: What will be my authority? Will it be public opinion or what God says is true?


“Jesus told him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.’” John 14:6

God not only is truth, he desires truth. He wants us to be honest with Him, with others and with OURSELVES.

“Jesus said to the people who believed in him, ‘You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings.  And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” John 8:31-32

If we lie to ourselves, we are likely to lie to others. Lies, especially the ones we tell ourselves, stunt our spiritual growth and keep us from the freedom Christ desires for us to experience.

If we cannot be real even in our own head, how can we truly grow?

God knows the devastation that comes from lying and wants to protect us from it.

“Do not steal. Do not deceive or cheat one another.” Leviticus 19:11
“Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds.” Colossians 3:9


As a kid, I was terrified of quicksand. I thought that quicksand was this mysterious mud that was lurking just around the corner. I was always on the lookout for it. But as I got older, I discovered that quicksand is an unrealistic threat. Or so I thought. . .

Lies are a lot like quicksand. They appear to be a non-threat. But once you’re sucked in, they cover you in darkness, distorting TRUTH. Then the darkness begins to feel warm and comfortable. And before you know it, you’re alright with it. Forward motion and growth are nonexistent.


Because we are masters of deception (some more than others), we even fool ourselves into believing things that are false—and we refuse to believe things that are true.

How do you know if you’re not being honest with yourself?

The first indication is feeling uncomfortable with the idea that perhaps you are indeed keeping things hidden from yourself.

Remember, we keep things hidden in order to protect ourselves or to keep doing something we want to do. But God is a much better protector than we are. He wants to free us— even from ourselves (John 8:31-32).


“Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.”
Psalm 119:29NLT

Emotional state

We’ve all experienced hurt and disappointment. Sometimes those emotions trick us into thinking things that aren’t actually true. If we are emotionally reactive to something or someone, it may remind us of something painful or unresolved in our lives. It’s these areas where telling the truth to ourselves is difficult.

For example: If you struggle with trust issues based on past hurt, you may find yourself anxious, angry or scared to trust a new friendship. You may find yourself reacting to a new relationship in ways that are not warranted. In fact, your reaction is most likely based on who you are and your unresolved issues, and not the new friend.

When you find yourself having a strong emotional reaction to something or someone—pause. Ask yourself: Is this emotion related to the present or is it triggering unresolved baggage?

Notice Your Thoughts

We all want to believe our thoughts are an accurate reflection of reality. Unfortunately, our thoughts can be extremely inaccurate. Often, our inaccurate thinking reflects painful realities that we don’t want to admit.

Think about the last time something really hurt you or made you extremely angry. I’m not talking about the person who cut you off on the freeway. I mean to search your heart and mind.

Did you think of it?

Now, take that person or issue before the Lord. It could be that the one you feel hurt or disappointed by is the Lord. It’s no secret to Him. It’s time to stop hiding behind emotions. If we want honesty, this is where it begins.

Ask God to reveal the TRUTH.

Then WAIT.

Sit still and be patient.

You may want to journal what God reveals.

Notice Your Behavior

When your behavior is not consistent with who you want to be—pause.

Invite God into the situation for truth and clarity.

Ask yourself: What is motivating this behavior? What do I need to admit to myself about this behavior?


His arm is not too short to reach us, even in the quicksand of our lies. We all need a good dose of honesty.

Has God seemed distant to you lately? It could be that He’s calling you to be honest with yourself and with Him.

“Listen! The Lord’s arm is not too weak to save you,   nor is his ear too deaf to hear you call. It’s your sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins, he has turned away and will not listen anymore. . .So he himself stepped in to save them with his strong arm,  and his justice sustained him.”
Isaiah 59:1-2, 16.

Spiritual growth begins with honesty. Honesty begins within our own heart and mind. We must be real inside first.

Let’s stop hiding. Let’s stop pretending. Let’s be honest.

Call out to God today and may God bless you with courage as you strive to move forward in TRUTH.

I’ve included a fantastic song about honesty below. My prayer is that it leads you to God’s truth, love, grace, and mercy. He’s waiting for you with open arms.


Comments are always welcome!

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21 thoughts on “STOP LYING TO YOURSELF”

  1. “Ask yourself: Is this emotion related to the present or is it triggering unresolved baggage?” Great question to ask ourselves! So many great insights in this article! Loved this quote, too: “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.” Wow. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. People like me who have clinical depression have to fight this all the time. We have to choose to listen to the voice of truth. Sometimes the truth is a balm to the soul, other times it is stinging, but cleansing.

    Great post, Beckie!


  3. Beckie, wow, lots of truth here! We are so good at deception and if we tell ourselves something long enough, we start to believe it! It’s so important to ask God to search our hearts regularly as the Psalmist did in Psalm 139.23-24. Thanks for sharing this thoughtful post.

    I’m visiting from #LLMLinkup. I would love it if you’d like this to Mondays @ Soul Survival. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “A fundamental question we will face in this life is: What will be my authority? Will it be public opinion or what God says is true?” One of the indicators you are lying to yourself is when you start justifying your thoughts or actions. You will know you’re doing it when you use words like ‘but’ and ‘it’s only’. Be careful what you measure your alignment with. Nice post, Beckie. Write on!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Beckie ~ So true that we need to be honest with ourselves. You ask some probing questions. Another verse that speaks to me about this is Psalm 51:6, “Behold, Thou dost desire truth in the innermost being…”
    Love to you in Christ!


  6. Love your tips about uncovering self-deception–especially being aware of how your baggage can impact your emotional state. Jesus is the truth, and his truth sets us free. Great post!


  7. What a powerful quote from Churchill. As Christians, we need to be marinating ourselves in the truth by marinating ourselves in God’s Word. Praise God we don’t have to stumble across the truth but can access it daily!


  8. Because Jesus is the Truth, I know I can always rely on Him, and He will be trustworthy. That’s a great thing to remember. Also, I see in my own life that God wanted me to be honest about a particular situation and struggle, and when I took my problem to Him instead of hiding it, He gave me a solution and freedom!


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